Helping Kids With Emotional Regulation This Summer: 5 Tips for Parents
Summer is a great time for kids to enjoy a break from school. But for many families, the change in routine can also bring some unexpected challenges.
Without the structure of a school day, children may have a harder time managing boredom, navigating transitions, handling sibling conflicts, or adjusting to plans that don't go the way they expected. Late nights, busy travel schedules, and changes in caregivers can also leave kids feeling more overwhelmed than usual.
If your child seems to be having more big feelings this summer, you're not alone.
The goal isn't to prevent your child from ever becoming upset or dysregulated. Big emotions are a normal part of childhood, and of being human. Instead, summer can be a great opportunity to help children practice recognizing their emotions, learning what their bodies need, and building a toolbox of strategies they can use when feelings become overwhelming.
Here are five ways parents and caregivers can support emotional regulation this summer.
1. Don't Focus on "Fixing" the Feeling
When your child is upset, it can be tempting to immediately try to make the feeling go away.
You might say:
"You're okay."
"There's no reason to be upset."
"Just calm down."
While these responses are often well-intentioned, they can sometimes leave children feeling like their emotions are wrong or that they need to stop feeling a certain way. Instead, start by acknowledging the emotion and staying connected.
Try saying:
"I can see you're having a really hard time. I'm here for you."
"That's a really big feeling. Let's take a moment together."
"It's okay to feel disappointed. I know you were really looking forward to that."
"You're feeling frustrated, and we'll figure out what to do next."
Emotional regulation isn't about never feeling angry, sad, disappointed, or overwhelmed. It's about learning that we can experience difficult emotions and eventually move through them.
Your calm presence can help your child feel safe enough to do just that. This process, known as co-regulation, is an important foundation for developing independent self-regulation skills. Once your child is calm, that's the time to talk about what happened. You can help them identify the trigger, think about what their body was telling them, and come up with a plan for next time.
2. Help Your Child Put Feelings Into Words
Children don't always have the words to explain what's happening inside them. Sometimes a tantrum, shutdown, or angry outburst is the only way they know how to communicate that they're overwhelmed.
Throughout the summer, look for opportunities to help your child build emotional awareness when they're calm, not just when they're already dysregulated.
You might ask:
"How are you feeling right now?"
"What do you notice happening in your body?"
"Does your body feel calm, wiggly, tense, or tired?"
"What do you think you need right now?"
"Was there something that happened that made you feel this way?"
You can also model this skill yourself.
For example:
"I'm feeling frustrated because we're running late. I'm going to take a breath and slow down."
"I'm feeling tired today, so I think I need a quiet afternoon."
When children hear adults talk about emotions in a calm and matter-of-fact way, they learn that feelings are something we can notice, talk about, and manage, not something we need to hide.
3. Offer Choices When Your Child Is Overwhelmed
When children are dysregulated, they may feel like they have very little control over what's happening around them. Offering two or three reasonable choices can help them regain a sense of control while still maintaining boundaries.
For example:
"Would you like to take a break in your room or sit with me on the couch?"
"Would you like to listen to music or use your fidget?"
"Do you want to talk about it now or take a few minutes first?"
"Would you like to walk with me or take some deep breaths together?"
The goal isn't to give your child unlimited choices. Instead, you're offering structured choices within a boundary.
Over time, these options can become part of your child's personal "regulation toolbox", a collection of strategies they can use when they notice they're becoming overwhelmed.
Remember that not every strategy will work every time. That's okay. The goal is to help your child experiment with different tools and learn what works best for them.
4. Create Predictable Anchors in an Unpredictable Summer
Summer doesn't have to follow a strict schedule, but some predictable routines can help children feel more secure.
For children who struggle with transitions or executive functioning, having a few consistent "anchors" throughout the day can make a big difference.
These might include:
Waking up around the same time each day
A consistent morning routine
Regular meal and snack times
A daily quiet or downtime period
A predictable bedtime routine
A quick check-in about the next day's plans
You don't need to schedule every minute of your child's summer. In fact, leaving room for flexibility, creativity, and downtime is important too. The goal is to create enough predictability that your child knows what to expect while still allowing for the spontaneity that makes summer fun.
Before a transition, give your child a heads-up whenever possible:
"In 10 minutes, we'll clean up and get ready to leave."
"After lunch, we're going to the pool."
"Today is going to look a little different because we're visiting Grandma."
For children who have difficulty with transitions, visual schedules and countdowns can also be helpful.
5. Make Room for Boredom
Boredom isn't necessarily a problem that parents need to solve. In fact, learning how to tolerate boredom and find something to do independently is an important skill for children to develop. That doesn't mean your child will always respond to boredom calmly. You may hear, "I'm bored!" many times this summer.
Instead of immediately providing entertainment, try responding with curiosity and confidence:
"I hear you. Being bored isn't always fun. I wonder what you might want to try."
"You don't have to know what to do right away. Let's see what you can come up with."
"It's okay to be bored. I'm confident you'll find something."
You can also create a "boredom buster" list together. Include activities your child can do independently, with a sibling, or with a parent. The list might include reading, drawing, building, playing outside, listening to music, or working on a favorite hobby. The goal is to help children learn that they can experience boredom without needing an adult to immediately fix it.
Bringing Emotional Regulation Into Everyday Summer Life
Supporting your child's emotional regulation doesn't require a perfect schedule or a complicated system. Small, consistent moments throughout the day can help children build these skills over time.
Try:
Modeling your own regulation.
"I'm feeling frustrated, so I'm going to take a few deep breaths before I respond."
Checking in regularly.
Ask your child how they're feeling when they're calm, not only when something has gone wrong.
Creating a regulation space.
Set up a comfortable area with pillows, books, sensory tools, or other calming activities your child can access when they need a break.
Preparing for transitions.
Give your child advance notice when plans are changing or an activity is coming to an end.
Celebrating effort.
Notice when your child recognizes an emotion, asks for a break, or tries a regulation strategy, even if it doesn't work perfectly.
Practicing when things are calm.
Children are more likely to use regulation strategies during difficult moments when they've had opportunities to practice them ahead of time.
Remember: Regulation Is a Skill That Develops Over Time
Your child will still have meltdowns. They will still get frustrated when plans change. They may still tell you they're bored approximately 47 times in one afternoon.
That's okay.
Emotional regulation isn't about raising a child who never has big feelings. It's about helping children understand that their feelings are safe to experience and that they can learn ways to respond to those feelings.
This summer, focus less on preventing every moment of dysregulation and more on creating opportunities for connection, practice, and growth. With your support and guidance, your child can gradually build the skills they need to navigate big emotions, not just this summer, but throughout childhood and beyond.
Need Support With Your Child's Emotional Regulation?
If your child frequently struggles with big emotions, frustration tolerance, transitions, or challenging behaviors, you don't have to navigate it alone. At Tampa Pediatric Psychology, we work with children and families to build practical, evidence-based strategies that support emotional regulation, coping skills, and stronger family relationships.
Contact our team to learn more about how we can support your child and family.